What did you want to be when you grew up?

I don't know about you, but as a child I pictured my life to be pretty spectacular when I grew up.  I would have a job that paid well, a husband, and a nice house. There really was no deep thought beyond those things.  I didn't think about what my husband would be like, what it was like having or raising children, (Granted, after my mother told me the horror story of how you made a baby, I wanted nothing to do with that.) but jobs, that, I did think about.

I wanted to be a lawyer or a writer. That was the dream.  After high school, I didn't think the legal profession would happen, as I threw my education down the drain after my sophomore year. Angst y teenage crap. 

I eventually began college at the age of twenty-two, and found myself pursuing a paralegal career. I felt a little disenfranchised when I realized how dull it truly was. I think for the right person it can be a very exciting career, but for me, it wasn't enough to keep me interested. That or I simply watched too much Law & Order and quickly learned that isn't really how it works.  Especially, if you work in Patent Law and not Criminal Law.

The other dream of writing I began to turn to. (on the side, as a hobby, of course) I had always written stories as long as I could remember. At least, started them.  I even had a poem published in some obscure poetry publication at the age of fourteen. But in 2010, I began a journey to tell a story, loosely based on my best friend, who was dealing with an abusive relationship. I wrote it off and on through out the years, and even began posting pieces of it on this very blog. It was in a very raw state of writing. I also worked full time and attended college (attempting to earn a master's degree) at this time, as well.  Once my daughter turned two, that was all over with. Can't really do online classes in the evening when a cutie pie wants your love and affection.

A part time job also had come along at some point in order for me to supplement my income. The book was pushed off even more. During this seven year process of writing my debut novel for publishing, the book evolved and became it's own creature, far removed from where it began. I'm proud of what I've accomplished and hope that I can do more.  I just hope that the next one does NOT take seven years.

Now realizing both dreams, whether they came to fruition or not, I look at the other pieces of my life. The husband. I was thirty-seven when I finally met the right guy to marry. My match. It's never what you picture it will be, but hopefully it's better.  In my case, I couldn't have imagined better for a fiance. And children. I obviously got over the how you made babies and MUCH MUCH MUCH later got over where they come out of and had a child. Mostly, I got over the idea of where they come out of when I got pregnant. Just had to grin and bear it, literally.  Now I have my most wonderful daughter and fiance and finally became a writer. It may never be my full time job or pay the bills, but I love doing it and will continue to do it.

I had to overcome many obstacles, including dealing with my own self loathing to get here, but here I am, and I wouldn't trade in any of those moments because it could mean that I wouldn't end up exactly where I am today.